Kebosanan Hidup Philip Larkin



Hari ini giliran buku biografi Philip Larkin yang ditulis oleh Andrew Motion. Walaupun saya tidak berpuas hati dengan kajian dan gaya kepengarangan Motion dalam buku ini, tetapi saya tertarik dengan sosok Philip Larkin yang digambarkannya sebagai seorang penyair yang pemalu dan rapuh emosi. Larkin, bersama sahabat baiknya Kingsley Amis, adalah generasi penulis selepas T. S. Eliot dan Ezra Pound. Larkin dan Amis berkenalan di Oxford dan dari awal lagi mereka tidak senang dengan gerakan modernisme yang mereka lihat sebagai elitis dan menyusahkan pembaca. Larkin sendiri lebih menyenangi puisi Thomas Hardy, D. H. Lawrence, dan W. H. Auden. Dia pernah cuba membaca W. B. Yeats, tetapi lama-kelamaan dia pun menolak simbolisme penyair dari Ireland itu. Larkin mahu puisi ditulis dengan bahasa yang mudah tentang kehidupan harian seorang penyair. Memang itu yang Larkin buat, dan dalam buku Motion, berkali-kali kita melihat Larkin marah atau terkilan dengan kritikan pembaca yang menduh puisinya sebagai "common place."
 
Satu lagi sisi hidup Larkin yang saya temui dalam buku Motion ialah zaman kanak-kanaknya yang bosan. Ini Larkin sendiri pernah jelaskan dengan panjang lebar dalam autobiografinya (kutipan daripada buku Motion):

"When I try to tune into my childhood, the dominant emotions I pick up are, overwhelmingly, fear and boredom. Although I have an elder sister, the... difference in our ages made me feel for practical purposes an only child, and I suppose those feelings are characteristics.

'As I picture him, my father was intensely shy, inhibited not robust, devoid of careless sensual instincts (though not of humour), and I don't think he did well to choose a wife of the same pattern. The only point where they differed was that while my father's brain was dominating, active and keen, my mother was made to trust and follow, and in that respect they were well suited, at any rate at first.

What kind of home did they create . . .? I should say it was dull, pot-bound, and slightly mad. By the time I knew it, my father worked all day and shut himself away reading in the evening, or else gardened. My mother constantly toiled at 'running the house', a task that was always beyond her, even with the aid of the resident maid and daily help. My sister, whose qualities of literal-mindedness and fantasy-spinning had infuriated my father until he made her life a misery, did not have many friends and endured, I should say, a pallid existence until she took up art, and even then day classes at Midland Art School did not lead to the excitements they should have. I don't think my father liked working or gardening, I don't think my mother liked keeping house, I don't think my sister liked living at home. Yet they all seemed powerless to do anything about it. There was a curious tense boredom about the house; it was not a bad house, but the furniture was uninteresting, except for my father's books. It was not a house where anyone called unexpectedly, for my father had no friends - at least, I couldn't name anyone who was a friend as I understand the word."

Suasana di dalam rumah keluarga saya dulu tidaklah sebosan Larkin. Tetapi ada waktunya ia memang begitu kerana saya anak bongsu dan abang-abang sudah berpindah ke Kuala Lumpur ketika umur saya sembilan tahun. Saya ingat pernah menangis ketika musim cuti sekolah kerana rasa sangat bosan dan tidak tahu apa nak buat atau ke mana hendak pergi. Tetapi aneh juga kenapa saya tidak membesar menjadi penyair seperti Larkin? Mungkin kebosanan Larkin jauh lebih parah daripada saya..

 

Comments

lonelyroseblack said…
assalammualaikum..pertama kali singgah di sini. Menarik tulisan tuan.. salam hormat dari saya.. :)

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