Another Self-Contemplation

I rarely think these days. My greatest fear is existing without knowing I exist. My greatest regret will be dying without knowing I have died.

A very close friend drew a picture of me recently. I am very thankful since it has made me reflect and not reflect regarding my existence.

To Alice, I dedicate the following poem by Fernando Pessoa:

Whether I'm happy or sad? ...
Frankly I don't know.
What does it mean to be sad?
What is happiness good for?

I'm neither happy nor sad.
I don't really know what I am.
I'm just one more soul that exists
And feels what God has ordained.

So then, am I happy or sad?
Thinking never ends well...
For me sadness means
Hardly knowing myself...

But that's what happiness is...